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    Home » Family Encouragement

    How to Help Someone who is Grieving

    Published: May 20, 2016 · Modified: Nov 12, 2022 by Candi Elm · This post may contain affiliate links

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    10 Simple Gestures You Can Do To Help Someone with Loss of Loved One

    10 simple gestures or acts of kindness you can do for others when you don’t know how to help someone who is grieving.  Being an encouragement to others can help in more ways than you think.

    These tips can be helpful when you don’t know what to say or do. Sometimes the little things make all the difference in the world.

    10 Simple Gestures You Can Do To Help Someone with Loss of Loved One

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    Losing a parent, friend, or child is the hardest thing you have to go through. Not only do you have to come to terms with the loss, but it’s the details, the emotions, all the plans you need to make. Then you still have to take care of just all the stuff life throws at you.

    What if you are a friend of someone that loses a parent, a child, or a family member? It even becomes harder, because you don’t know what you should do.

    You want to help and you want to be there, but you feel inadequate like there is nothing you can do to take away their pain, so many of us don’t do anything.

    One thing I have learned is that if you ask how you can help, many will say thank you but no thank you. They don’t want to feel like a burden, so if possible just step in and do something on this list.

    There are things you can do that matter even when you don’t think they do.

    Simple Gestures to Help Someone Grieving

    • Giving a card or writing a message is a wonderful thing – Something they can keep 
    • Do an errand, (mail pick up, lawn care, groceries, carpool kids)
    • Bring a meal or a snack, (many times they are out for dinner, so bring in the morning)
    • If you are a close friend you can come clean their house
    • Answer their phones for a few days or make the calls for them about funeral times
    • Pet Care (feeding and walking)
    • Donate to their favorite charity
    • Put them on the prayer chain at church
    • Send a plant (they last longer than flowers)
    • Write about a good time with the person they lost if you knew them
    • Be the contact person that people can call so the hurting person can have time to grieve
    • Drop off a personal care basket
    • Give Gift Cards

    Send a Card

    Send a Sympathy of Thinking of You Card – these will be a lifesaver when the person is grieving. This lets them know you care and are thinking of them.

    Do An Errand

    Call them or text them and ask if there is one errand they need done? Fill up their car with gas, pick up some milk, buy them some stamps, etc.

    Bring A Meal

    This is a lifesaver. Many can’t think about cooking or taking care of the family’s food needs while they are grieving. You can also send a gift card for a meal.

    Clean Their House

    Send over the Cleaning Lady or Bring a few friends to help clean their house. This is really needed if they are going to have people visit after the service. Maybe they will be having have guests and maybe they need the guest room set up.

    Make Phone Calls

    Sometimes there are difficult calls to make, or even confirmation calls for the service that needs to be followed up on. This can be very helpful and relieve some of the anxiety.

    Pet Care

    Take the dogs for walks, or buy pet food. Help clean up any messes the pets may have made recently.

    Donate to Favorite Charity

    You may want to send flowers or a plant, or give to their favorite charity.

    Send Gift Cards or give monetary gifts

    Funerals are extremely expensive, there are many considerations that need to be made. Many times this comes out of the family’s pockets while waiting for insurance to become available if any. Sending a gift card or small monetary gift is much appreciated.

    Attend the service

    If at all possible, if it’s an open service, be present. Sign the guest book. The grieving family needs to have your support. I would say this is one thing that made a difference to me personally.

    Next Steps

    Sometimes after a few weeks and the calls stop coming in is when you can help by being present. That is when a lot of the grieving begins when everyone goes away.  Grief doesn’t stop for some for many years, if at all.

    Try not to compare a previous personal loss to their new loss. In my experience, nothing will compare to their loss. Remember it is not about you, it is about them. Just try to be there for their grief and focus on comforting them.

    • Call once a week and set a text more often
    • Take them to lunch or dinner
    • Send a card in the mail
    • Send a text message
    • Just be a friend
    • Help them clean out a room if they need to donate items
    • Buy them a worship cd 
    • Suggest a grief share group they can join

    When I lost my father two years ago, the things I remember most about that rough time, is the meals I was brought, the messages I received (they are still on my phone two years later), the cards I received, (they are all in a box now I can look through) and the people that showed up at his funeral, (my dentist included).

    People matter. We need each other for support. Let them know you care. Send them a beautiful scripture for them to hold on to.

    You might want to read about how to declutter and what you can do with loved one’s items after a loss.

    Add a suggestion to my list in the comments about how to help during the loss of a loved one, and I can keep it growing to help others.

    Other Stories of Encouragement

    • Living with Depression and Anxiety
    • How to Start a Tea Ministry
    • How to Manage Anxiety Naturally
    • The Teacup Story 
    • Activities for Self Care on A Budget

    More Family Encouragement

    • How a Self-Care Planner Helps You Prioritize Your Health
    • Empowering Words of Encouragement for Women
    • Prioritizing Your Well-Being: How a Self-Care Checklist Can Help You Stay on Track
    • What is a Tea Ministry?

    Family Encouragement death, grief, grieving, loss of loved one

    About Candi Elm

    Candi Elm is the recipe developer and food photographer at A Day In Candiland where she has been sharing Encouragement, Recipes, and Afternoon Tea Ideas since 2012. Candi currently lives in Southern California with her family and enjoying life to the fullest.

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    1. Norma says

      May 07, 2019 at 1:18 am

      Thank you so much. Lost of a love one is something that is part of life but we are never ready even if we know the person has been sick. We still suffer as bad. I have lost a 19 year old son then a 28 year old daughter. Its been years and some days feel luke it was yesterday. Thank you. God bless. Norma Munguia

      Reply
    2. Donna Marsh says

      April 07, 2023 at 8:37 am

      Thank you for the grief information. My friend just lost her husband and I needed a tug to get me started. It is very hard for me as I lost my husband just two years ago as well. I am trying hard not to open that door again with its feeling so lost in a thick fog.
      Donna M.

      Reply

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    I’m Candi, a recipe and all things Tea blogger. I create family-friendly recipes along with sharing encouragement in your daily life.

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